Confessions of a Wino

Rich and spicy with an attractive, but rough, edge. In musical terms, a Victoria Beckham wine.

Tastewise, imagine biting into an olive and finding a pimiento, only substitute a plum and a beetroot respectively.

I last visited this southern Rhone appellation in 2010, a scorching summer as I recall, so no surprise that  this wine, from the same year, is as Hot as Chocolate, Earthier than Kitt, and more tannic than a cup of tea drunk in a tannery…

From Domaine Collet et fils comes this interesting Chablis, 1er Cru Vaillons “Sécher”. 2009 RRP £21.

Wowzers, I thought Chablis was supposed to be steely, flinty, dry and crisp. This is smooth and buttery honey albeit with an appealing apple sourness.

The normally reliable Wine Searcher iPhone app couldn’t locate a British stockist but I understand it’s available from posh importer, Marc Fine Wines, living up to their claim that they service the on-trade with wines that can’t be sourced elsewhere in the UK. I hope you stumble across it at your local restaurant.

If you do, it’s probably better paired with cheese or chicken than shellfish. Les bourgognes recommend drinking at 10-11 degrees, so ignore restaurant advice,and take it out of the ice bucket if it is served straight from the blast chiller.

With the current anti-alcohol tax regime, is it still possible to sell a bottle of wine at £5? Asda thinks so. They pointed me at a handful of recent Extra Special selections in their range in the £5-6 price bracket. Looking for something to go with fresh Yorkshire Spring lamb chops, I pulled out these two from the sample box.

A 2010 Bordeaux at £5? An Aussie Cabernet at £5.95? Surely a price-gun error, or maybe a temporary discount? Asda assures me that this is the permanent price. Only one obvious conclusion then – it must be ropey wine.

Wine one is Roc-Montalon Bordeaux Supérieur 2010. Smells a bit chemically and the taste lacks complexity. There is evidence of leaves and a lack of fruit but still somehow it is not unpleasant. At least the price doesn’t leave a bad taste in the mouth.

Wine two is an Aussie Cabernet Sauvignon called “Langhorne Creek” from 2011. This smells of baked beans (well, it is a supermarket wine) and tastes just a little sharp, but nonetheless fruity and juicy, if just a tad Haribo.

But here’s the thing. It’s really important to serve wine properly and if you put either of these into a decent (large bowl) glass, and if you serve at the right temperature (put in the fridge for about 30 mins before serving), they both taste so much better. Good gluggable party wines that you could easily serve to friends without any embarrassment.

For the lamb chops, and probably in other circumstances, the extra 98 pence to buy the Langhorne Creek is worth the stretch.

In these hard economic times, it is good to have somewhere to go to find wines that are drinkable and cheap. And both of these bottles fit the bill. A demonstration, I guess, of Walmart buying power.

Rhone wines can be easily overlooked, and yet many rival the finest Bordeaux, as anyone who has tried Hermitage La Chapelle will tell you.

This Vinsobres comes from the Southern Rhone, is inky in colour and robust, spicy, tannic and plummy in taste. It’s a George Galloway of a wine. Feisty, intelligent, slightly unbalanced and available for purchase. Which you can do at Berry Bros. and Rudd for £14.95. At this price it’s a steal, but, unless you like wines that go with a blue steak, or that make you feel like you are doing a Vito Corleone impression with wet tea bags in your cheeks, I would recommend holding on for a few more years or so before drinking.

I’ve had a massive, Rowan Gormley style, fallout with Virgin Wines. Having restructured (read less favourable terms) their “Wine Bank” offer, I had the temerity to request the closure of my Wine Bank account. After three emails and two phone calls still no joy. So, no more Virgin Wines. I am storming (or maybe mincing) off in a huff.

Luckily, I joined The Wine Society many moons ago and they ruthlessly and relentlessly ship me top quality wines at fair (not cheap) prices. Here is yet another reason to stay a member.

Beaujolais 2010 was supposed to be a mere shadow of the magnificent 2009 vintage. However, this Château Bonnet Chénas (£9.50) begs to differ. Much more serious than “typical” bubble gum Gamay, juicy and fruity but with a smidgen of spice. Think of it as a higher class of jelly (yes, streets ahead of Haribo).

Sorry for the lack of humour in this post. Say thanks to Tony Laithwaite and his band of Virgins for that.

Although it is rumoured that I can poach an egg, I am, in truth, impotent in the kitchen. If I was a porn star, I suspect that I would really struggle with the vinegar stroke, not least the timing thereof.

I’ve been experimenting with a pork chop recipe comprising various measures of mustard, thyme, garlic, skillets, pans and ovens. I’m certain that the ingredients are all going to work in balance one day, but it may take me another 30 years to get there.

Equal challenges must be faced by winemakers. How do you get that elusive balance? This Régnié has zingy plums, spice, bright acidity and just enough tannins to match up to a robust (even burnt) pork dish at a beautifully light 12.5% ABV. Unusual for the Gamay grape to display such agility. Softcore as ever, a rare bed partner of longevity.

Hunger is a great sauce, as certain chefs keep reminding me. I wonder how that pie tasted to Magwitch, the one that Pip selflessly stole? It formed the thesis for an entire Dickens novel, such is the power of food, and feelings.

After 3 weeks on the prison ship of abstinence, does wine taste any different? I’ve just opened this St Estèphe and I think I have the presence of mind to review it objectively. It’s fucking awesome!

Whilst still young and tannic (I decanted mine), which means it went superbly with a ribeye steak, it also had a certain fruity sweetness that made a rare red wine match for chocolate. Lindt Selection if you must know, although I am sure you can experiment yourself. Probably worth leaving another year or two, but if you are desperate to open a bottle, you will be far from disappointed.

Mine came from Sunday Times Wine Club (Laithwaites) President’s Cellar which implies a price of £20-30, and I did see it at Berry Bros for around £27.50, although currently out of stock. If you’ve been off wine for a while, or even if you’ve been drinking like Bentley Drummle at your posh London club, it’s worth the extra for a little treat.

I’ve been looking for a reason to slate The Wine Society.  I have not always got on with this venerable and sometimes crusty institution.  At the moment, however, it seems that it can do no wrong.

So let’s try to find their Henry IV moment – not dying majestically in battle but from a limp bout of debilitating psoriasis.

A bog standard own brand at the low end of the price range? Check. From the cheap as chips, rough and ready end of France, the Languedoc? Check. Come. Sharpen the knives. Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown!

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Quite earthy and rich and tasting of beetroot and tomato purée with some plummy fruits and vanilla thrown in, this Côtes du Rhône Villages goes brilliantly with Heinz tomato soup, which if you are over 9, only really tastes acceptable when accompanied by a tipper truck load of ground black pepper and a toasted white pitta bread.

So, having set a British & Commonwealth record for the longest opening sentence on a Confessions post, my mind turned to where I may have procured this very decent tasting bottle, and its pecuniary value, given that I (unusually for me) kept no record, nor scrawled any details on the label, and whether I was also going to set a record for the second sentence, and penultimate paragraph before I ran out of breath and all remaining readers had passed out, so I wantonly speculated that this was probably a £7.50 wine and turned to Lord Google.

It is rather nice, so I shouldn’t have really been so surprised to find it at Berry Bros.  They only have it In Bond (for delivery when?) at £130 per case which is just under £11, but normally one must add shipping and VAT, so maybe my estimate is out by a factor of two?  Hmm I might stretch to that for a couple of bottles, but the price does appear to have been influenced by a Parker rating of 88-90.

Burgundy wine can be expensive.  Gevrey Chambertin is no exception.  So when the moths blinked as I opened my wallet to send £20.99 to the Sunday Times Wine Club for this Labouré-Roi, I took Tony Laithwaite on face value, (and that takes a leap of faith).

I must have ordered just two bottles because I found this right at the back of my rack, and I reviewed it once before (and loved it) a couple of years ago.

This time round I wasn’t quite as impressed.  Did I over-chill it?  Maybe it was going through a famed Burgundian middle-age crisis.  Either way, it is a tastyish wine – I just question whether an investment of over £20 plus two year’s storage charges in my Combine Harvester is really worth it. 2009 Beaujolais looks better value to be honest, and is outperforming many a Bourgogne right now.