Confessions of a Wino

I was thinking of writing a thoughtful and considered post tonight but I am starting to slip into Gary Lineker mode already.

McCLAREN OUT!  McCLAREN OUT!  I’ve been completely consistent on this.  Even after five 3-0 wins on the trot (to weak opposition) I still opined that Steve McClaren should resign with (not much) dignity.

The first mistake was made by the FA in the early Sven days when McClaren was appointed assistant with the openly stated aim that he was being groomed for next England manager, the only visible qualification being that he was English.  Then, when Sven was deposed, the FA, in their infinite wisdom, approached “Fil” Scolari and only when he turned the FA down did they grovel to McClaren and pretend it was his job all along.

Oh, how we now long for the Sven-Goran Eriksson days.  He was accused of being the “quarter final” man.  I’d rather have a “quarter final” man than one who can’t even qualify from possibly the easiest European group imaginable.  The last time England failed to qualify for a major tournament was when Graham “Turnip Head” Taylor failed to qualify for the 1994 World Cup.

To be honest, although I am bitterly disappointed that England have not qualified for Europe, one has to look for silver linings at desperate times like these.  The most obvious of which would be to hear of Steve McClaren’s immediate resignation, and if he doesn’t resign by midnight then the FA will lose 1% credibility for every minute after midnight tonight that they don’t sack him.  So they lose my support at 0140h on 22 November 2007 in such circumstance.

In the interim, please appoint Terry Venables as a temporary manager while we wait for someone worthwhile to become available (Martin O’Neill?, despite not being English).  El Tel will at least be capable of winning a few friendlies, and who knows, maybe one day Sven will throw his hat back into the ring???!!!

Talking of Sven that brings me to Man City and in the photo below I wonder if Georgios Samaras will ever play another game for my glorious team.  While I ponder, I sip away at Château de Cor Bugeaud 2005 to see if that will lift my spirits.

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Less than a week after its release (or some might say escape) the fuss about the poor quality of Beaujolais Nouveau this year is already rife.  So, always keen to avoid the inanely topical, I thought I might take the opportunity to delve into the past.

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Anyone got an update on Diego Maradona?  Regular readers know that I hate the Argies with a passion normally reserved for mindless football thugs.  However, when it comes to wine I try to make allowances, and it just so happens that my thuggery dissipates faster than the bubbles in a bottle of cava, once an open bottle of Argentinean wine is placed on the table.

I love the Faldeos Nevados Malbec, so I really should have tried the Bonarda from the same producer earlier than this.  Bonarda, is not, although it sounds so, the name of an Italian porn star, but an indigenous grape of the cheating football nation.  Albeit not the cheating football nation that brought you the Mano de Dios, it originated in Italy!  Enough of the football insults, what was the wine like?

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A letter arrived.  Not an email.  Not a text message.  Not even a telegram or a greeting card.  A letter, hand written, addressed to me, and delivered to the office.

Of course, I remember the days before this eloquent and pulchritudinous form of communication was rudely re-branded snail mail. Nowadays, I have to admit that I cannot recollect the last time I received a hand written letter.  This particular letter resulted in an uncommon sequence of events that lead me to Tingewick, a pretty country village in Buckinghamshire.

Tingewick, close to the intersection of the three counties of Bucks, Northants, and Oxon, is an architectural melting pot.  16th century thatched cottages huddle awkwardly next to 1940’s council houses like new kids meeting at school.  Grand mansions look down on their tiny peers who appear to doff their tiled roofs in deference.  Residents include a well known rock guitarist, a lottery winner, and my estranged Godmother.

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Is it so wrong to like Cloudy Bay?  It used to be the wine for the cognoscenti but it got a bit too big for its boots.  It’s not exactly a mass produced and marketed wine like Jacob’s Creek (perish the thought), but those in the know yawn and say “Cloudy Bay?  It’s a bit 1990’s man….”

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Funky.  The French don’t do funky well.  So Café Le Brummels must be owned by a Belgian then.  Did you spot the Belgian beer influences in the photo?

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Perennial problem isn’t it?  Matching wine and food.  Which wino has never deliberated over what to serve with foie gras (easy one – Chateau d’Yquem), or mature Argentinean Steak (I would do a Malbec)?  But what about the really tough dishes like chocolate desserts, for example.  What if your dinner party plan includes serving beans on toast?

These thoughts swirled around my head like a pair of boxer shorts in a launderette as I drove back to the flat for my evening repast, which happened to be, due to forgetting to stop at the shops, beans on toast.

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What has happened to all the casinos around Lac Léman?  Have the richesse deserted the area like diamond encrusted lemmings making a leap of faith towards more trendy holiday locations?  When we arrived in Lausanne, we followed a sign to the casino only to find it has been converted into some nouveau public amenity.  Taking a train to Morges, the Casino had also been converted to another use.

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I’ve got tennis elbow.  Or rather, I’ve got the super-modern equivalent: Wii wrist.  If you look at availability in the shops, and prices on Ebay, it seems that Nintendo are doing rather well compared to the overpriced, under specified and arrogantly marketed Sony Playstation 3.

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Now, I could bore you with the old story about Dick van Dyke’s ropey cockney accent, but I am going to spare you that.  Instead, I am going to bore you about the third English wine I have sampled this year, Limney Horsmonden 2006.

Well the first thing to say is that they are not going to win any prizes for label design.

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